LAZY IN LAOS

Day 10, March 31st

One of the biggest hassles in backpacking is simply getting from one place to the next.  It tends to be cheap, but in regions like Southeast Asia it is a huge time suck.  I tried to explain that to mom and dad, but it is hard to grasp until you are in the thick of it.  Now they are in the thick of it.  They understand. 

The Mekong Charm Hotel.

Based on our experience in getting from Beijing to Hanoi, coupled with the information we have heard about travel from Hanoi to Luang Prabang, Laos, we decided to fly.  If we don’t fly, we will essentially lose three days.

Up early and at the airport to find out we have a two to three hour delay.  The flight was short, barely 50 minutes.  That was a HUGE time saver.  Three days down to 50 minutes!

Luang Prabang airport is so small that it makes you feel like you are in a remote area.  Everything from the fact that no planes pull right up to the terminal to the old style baggage conveyor system.  But, the visa is easy, quick.  Baggage not to long.  Van in to town even quicker. 

Monks running to the river.

I drop mom and dad off at Tum Tum Cheng’s restaurant and head out to secure our hotel.  There is already a huge difference between Laos and where we have already been.  This place it hot.  Sweltering.  Suffocating.  I have been in pants the entire trip thus far.  No shorts.  Five minutes here and I’m already drenched in sweat.

The Mekong Charm Hotel will do quite nicely.  We check in, shower and out to check out the town.  I could feel it as we walked around.  Finally.  We were at a lazy, riverside locale.  Not much to do here.  Soak it in.  Just a sleepy little town.  It is the offseason here, which makes the quiet town nestled between the Mekong River and the Nam Khan River even quieter.  Mom has already declared it her favorite place.

Jumping in.

This town has several temples, so the place if full of monks.  I saw a few running down a small pathway, disappearing within the green.  We followed them down the path and stepped back in time.  At the end of the path is a small bridge made out of bamboo and any other wood that could be found.  At the start of the bridge is an old lady sitting on the floor in a small thatch-roof hut.  She’s there to collect the toll.  No one passes without paying.

The bridge crosses the Nam Khan River to an area where you can watch the longboats glide up and down the Mekong River.  It’s also the perfect place to watch the sun set over Luang Prabang.  The sunset and the young monks playing soccer down below make it a very chill evening.

We headed back into town, and after a nice riverside dinner, I was subjected to one of the creepiest experiences in my life…simultaneous massages with mom and dad.  For mom, it’s no problem.  She’s never met a massage she didn’t like.  Me, I’m cool with massages, but I have two rules…I don’t want a dude to do it and I don’t want to be laid down, half-naked, side by side with my parents.  There is nothing relaxing about that.  Dad, he hates everything about massages to the point of never having had one before.  This will be his first.  Bad call. 

From the moment it starts he is a fish out of water.  Just the part about stripping down and putting a towel over you is bad enough for him.  I was initially going to let them have their massages while I watched the bags.  But, I had a good vibe about the place and decided I would do it at the same time.  I didn’t know we would all be in the same room!  It was basically one big upstairs room sectioned off by curtains.  Mom and dad are already laid out on the floor and I am directed to the mat next to dad.  Can this get any worse?  It just did.  Mom is a moaner during massages.  Super!  I have to strip down to nothing and crawl under my towel.  Right about the time I am covered up the curtain flies open and it is time for my massage.  There is nothing relaxing about this.  I’m more tense now than when it started.  Just counting the seconds until it is over.  When it’s over, there’s no talking.  This day is done.

Day 11, April 1st

Making silk scarves.

One of the best parts of traveling is experiencing another culture’s way of doing something.  The coffee this morning looked like mud.  Dirty.  Thick.  Coffee Laos as it’s called.  Mom and dad practically recoiled at the sight of it.  Ironically, it turned out to be the best coffee all three of us have ever had.  Breakfast was equally delicious and we were off to see the rest of the town.

We went back down the same path from the day before and over the bridge.  This time we went away from the river and found a small village full of silk shops.  They also make paper there, specifically out of elephant dung.

Another meal by the river and we take off for a longboat ride at sunset.  During the day mom had stumbled upon another place that gives massages.  They also do a fruit body polish.  She convinces dad to give the fruit body polish a try.  I know what this is.  Mom isn’t sure.  Dad has no clue.  This is karma kicking him in the butt for making fun of my exfoliating shower gloves.  They take pureed fruit, mix it with rock salt and scrub down the body.

The longboats.

All three of us did this “treatment” together again.  This time I had my own room.  I would be able to relax and enjoy it.  Well, I would if I could somehow block out the excruciating pain from this girl crushing the fruit exfoliate into my calves and legs.  OUCH!  Am I bleeding yet!?  Ease up there a bit!  I’m gonna shine more than a ceramic doll.  Then peace sets in.  Serenity.  I realize if I am in this much pain, think about what dad is going through.  I settle in and enjoy.

Sunset on the Mekong River.

After I wash off the fruit and salt, I get dressed and head to the waiting room.  Mom is finished next.  No words said.  Just a look and we both know how intense that was.  Then we lose it.  Can’t stop laughing.  Tears pouring.  We both know dad is dying back there right now.  Right then dad emerges from behind the curtain.  Beaten.  Hurting.  Looking like a prize-fighter who fought way above his weight class.  We wait for his assessment of the ‘treatment’.  He says, “I’ve had a better feeling from my power-sander accidentally ripping the skin off of my knuckles.”  Hopefully, he can see the compassion through our tears of laughter.  Come on Balboa, let me help you limp back to the hotel.

Too many massagesly yours,

Mickey

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