GOOD NIGHT, CAMBODIA

Day 29, April 19th

After the past two days here in Sihanoukville, our expectations are very low and there are no plans at all today.

I'll suffer through a sunburn for this.

My sunburn is still beyond painful and I am starting to get the water blisters everywhere.  Last night was another painful night spent trying to find a comfortable position and slowly peeling the sheets off of me.  It serves me right.

We are up a little later than usual.  The three of us head down to breakfast about mid morning.  Patton and I enjoy our usual grease with a side of eggs, under cooked bacon, toast, coffee and orange drink.  We’re convinced it is Tang mainly because it is crunchy.  Mom dines on a piece of toast and Lipton’s hot tea.  I don’t think she has had anything other than that for breakfast the entire time we have been traveling.

Over breakfast we discuss the upcoming plan of action.  Today is our last day here in Sihanoukville as well as our last day in Cambodia.

A few kids working.

Early tomorrow morning we leave by bus and arrive in Saigon, Vietnam sometime tomorrow night.  My guess is things will be suspect until we hit the border and then smooth sailing to Saigon.  If I remember correctly, the transportation system in Vietnam has its act together much better than Cambodia.  Nevertheless, we need to make sure we have enough snacks and water in case we go a long stretch without stopping.  Of course, the exact opposite is usually what happens and we stop way too much.  But, a good rule to follow when backpacking is to always have some food and water on you.  We need to inventory and stock up.

We also need to resolve the issue with the towel.  We have to pick it up today and turn it in to the front desk at the hotel.  I just hope that girl is there and not the dude.

After breakfast, we split up.  The kids head into town to check it out.  I again head to the beach.

I know, I know, I have a horrible sunburn and there is no reason I should be there.  And you are right.  But, instead of sprawling out like my manties-clad brethren from snorkeling the day before, I plan to slide under an umbrella and stay fully clothed.

Not a bad way to spend the day.

As I get down to the beach, it is noticeably quieter.  There are fewer tourists and fewer hawkers.  The Khmer New Year is completely over and most people have returned to the big cities.  And being so empty, there is a high demand for my business.  Every bar and restaurant has a few people outside trying to coax me into their beach chairs and under their umbrellas.  Naturally, I pick the place where the people put forth the least effort to secure my patronage.  My thinking is they will likely not hassle me when I eventually fall asleep.

It is a really beautiful day today.  A light breeze.  A bit cloudy.  The water is blue.  And no noise.  It is as if everyone woke up from a bad bender, and most probably did.  They are certainly doing their thing, but not with the same energy, just going through the motions.  The hawkers display their wares, but almost listlessly.  They hold them up, all I do is smile and they just keep on moving.  Quite nice indeed.

I pull out my ipod and tune in to a chill Café Del Mar medley, lay back and watch time crawl by.

My new friend.

A couple of naps, a few mango smoothies, several Tiger beers and one plate of french fries later and it is about time to pack up and head back.  As I am about to go, a couple of kids come up and start chatting me up.  They hold up their bracelets for sale and I lazily look at them.  A couple of them are interesting.  The kids aren’t selling hard, they are just bored and we do less business and more talking.

While we are talking, I see the foul-mouthed girl from two days ago turning up the heat on a group of Sihanoukville newbies.  She gives them a right nice welcome and tells them to, “Go back to your F*#@!%G country!”  I’m guessing they didn’t buy either.

I get a couple of skull and crossbones bracelets for two special Hellions from my new friends and I mosey on out of there.  I feel pretty damn relaxed.

I link up with the kids and we go grab the towel from the laundry service.  Imagine that, no blue stains.  Well, at least barely noticeable blue stains.

So soft.

So refreshing. 

We head to a nice dinner across the street from our hotel.  American food.  Certainly a nice break from what we have been eating.  During dinner, mom walks back to our hotel lobby to call home.  Ironically, while our hotel will charge you $8 for a stained towel, they will let you call back to the United States for free.  Mom calls PaPa and wishes him a happy 86^th birthday.  She says he and MaMa still can’t believe we are on this trip and are more amazed that we extended it.  A few desserts.  Coffee.  The check.

As we head through the lobby, I stop off and turn in the towel at the front desk.  The kids continue up to their room and let me handle it.  The girl is there.  Towel issue settled.

In my room, I sit out on the balcony and overlook the boardwalk by the beach.  It’s quiet.  The town is quiet.  The sky is quiet.  The night is quiet.  This is exactly what I needed.  Completely relaxing.

Oh wait, I just remembered, I still have this EXCRUCIATING sunburn.

Not exactly relaxingly yours,

Tang

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A LEADER OF MEN

Day 27, April 17^th

We aren’t moving too fast this morning.  No need to.  I have already laid out the plans for the day and there is no need to rush.  Breakfast.  Beach.  Dinner.  Done.  That’s right, I said beach.

Ahhhh, yessss.  The Beach.  After the past couple of weeks in the cities, I am more than ready for the white sands and blue waters of the coast.

A pretty good view.

I know, the name Cambodia doesn’t exactly elicit thoughts of umbrella-dotted beaches and lazy days listening to the waves crawl up the sand and roll back out to sea.  Believe me, you are missing out.  Sihanoukville is just that, a beach town.  This is one of the more picturesque beaches I have seen.

Just above the row of water-front umbrellas lies restaurant after restaurant ready to bring you anything you desire from a Tiger beer to a mango smoothie to fresh grilled seafood.  I’m gonna dig this.

We make it down to one of the beach side restaurants for a quick breakfast.  It’s the usual.  I gotta say, frying eggs is not their thing here.  It always comes drenched in grease.  Literally.  When we first arrived in Southeast Asia the kids were ordering like it was an I-HOP and giving specifics about how the eggs should be prepared.  Over easy.  A little runny.  Not too hard.  Confusion.

They know two things when it comes to eggs on a western breakfast here.  Fried or scrambled.  And if it is fried, that basically means the eggs are going skinny dipping in a vat of grease and not drying off when they get out.  They will literally slide across your plate there is so much grease.  One full month starting off each day with a plate of grease and a side of egg has an effect.  It wreaks havoc on your digestive system.  I’ll leave it at that.

Grease ingested.  Coffee consumed.  Beach time.

We find a couple of umbrellas with lounges and set up camp.  With the Khmer New Year just ending, this place is quiet.  Hardly anyone out here.  Perfect.

An even better one.

I can’t say this enough, you hear Cambodia and you think jungle, war, Black Panther Beer, Angelina Jolie’s son.  You think anything BUT beach.

However, the sun is out.  The blue sky is gently dotted with a few clouds.  The sand is white.  The breeze is soft.  And the water from the Gulf of Thailand is cool.  This is what you want when you dream of that beach getaway.

I easily settle into relaxing.

Mom, easily settles in to relaxing.

Dad, he’s a good sport and gives it a try.

There is no escaping them.

We order up some fresh fruit smoothies and lay back and enjoy.  I toss on my ipod, scroll to Jack Johnson and close my eyes to relax.  This is absolute heave…EXCUSE ME MISSA, You buy bracelet from me?  Foot massage?  Very hairy chest missa, I fix for you?  Shrimp?  Fresh fruit?  Remember me for later, OK?  You buy from me later, OK?  We friends now!

This SUCKS!!

The beach hawkers are everywhere and relentless.  Selling everything.  But they don’t make the hard sell this early in the day.  It’s more of an introduction, a meet and greet, if you will.  The best thing to do this early is to just say ‘no’ unless you see something you want to buy right then. 

Mom commits the cardinal sin in interacting with hawkers while lounging.  She doesn’t say “no.”  She says “maybe later.”  “Maybe later” is basically a contract to them.  And make no mistake about it, they will be back to collect.  A couple of the hawkers, kids mostly, even throw out the pinky swear.  They know the routine and they are very good at it.

Not too long after the hawkers leave, Patton gets restless.  He often does when we are relaxing and we knew this would happen.  He heads off and walks up and down the beach.  Very little relaxing for him.

A young girl giving mom the hard sell.

The rest of the morning and early after noon is spent lounging, dipping in the ocean, flipping over and back over, an occasional massage, a few purchases from the hawkers, several mango smoothies and MANY refusals to have my chest hair threaded.  I don’t know why, but they wouldn’t let that one go.  Believe me, I’m no Magnum P.I., but they kept wanting to “fix” it.  Every time I said no, they would ask about my head.  Where did you leave your hair, missa?  I left it in my 20s.  Thanks for reminding me.  So much for relaxing.

As early afternoon approaches, the hawkers realize it is time for the hard sell.  The sun will be going down, people will be heading off to dinner and they need to close the deal now. 

About that time, Patton returns from his trek.  I would like to take this opportunity to say how much I admire Patton.  This guy is genuinely amazing.  The things he has accomplished in life constantly astound me.  The places he has taken our family to live.  Germany.  Saudi Arabia.  The places he has traveled solo to work.  Sudan.  Kuwait.  And all of the stuff he has done in recent years in Iraq and Afghanistan in helping to rebuild those countries.  He is always calm.  Collected.  Calculated.  He is truly a leader of men.  Always has everything under control. 

Except…

…when he is surrounded by several six-year-old beach hawkers shoving bracelets in his face and another lady giving him a “trial foot massage.”  He is squirming more than a tweener at a Justin Beiber concert.  This is funny.

Moving in on Patton.

All I can hear is …NO, I don’t want a massa.  Kevin!  NO, I don’t want any bracelets.  Kevin!!  Quit touching my feet!  NO, I don’t want any bracelets!  Kevin!!  Make them go away!!  NO, I don’t want any.  KEVIN!!  Pay them a dollar to leave me alone!!

I could help him out, I guess.  But, this is an extremely refreshing mango smoothie and I certainly don’t want to get in the way of him experiencing the local culture.  He can take care of himself.

A leader of men indeed. 

Once the hawkers finally split, the kids load up their stuff and head back to the hotel room.  I choose to take in a bit more sun while I can.  Bad call on my part.  A combination of bad decision-making and laziness have led to the worst sunburn I have ever had.  I have been out here for about 5-6 hours…and no sunscreen.  My initial thinking was I needed to start with a decent burn.  Once I realized I was too burned, I was too lazy to put on sunscreen or to get up and leave.  I think I am going to pay dearly for this.

Finally, I am ready to head back to the room and get ready for dinner.  But, I spot a hair band I want from one of the hawkers.  No, it isn’t for me.  The girl doesn’t have the color I want, so she sits there and makes a new one for me.

While she is making it a bunch of other kids come to chat and try to sell stuff to me.

The trolley.

One young girl in particular is upset.  Apparently, she feels that she and I are “friends” from this morning and I should be buying from her.  But I didn’t make “friends” this morning.  Great.  Now the tears are coming.  I try to chat with her and be playful.  She says I promised to buy.  I say I didn’t promise.  And then the switch flips and she hits me with it.  “I don’t want your f____n promises.  I want your money.”

WHAT?!?!

I don’t even have a response to that.  Now I’m dealing with a 6-year-old Andrew Dice Clay?  She is pissed!  That’s my cue.  I’m just gonna get the hair band and head back to the hotel.  Of course, she doesn’t let me leave without one last parting shot.  She tells me, “go back to your f____n country.”

They certainly master English at a really young age here.

My sunburn is killing me, but it is time to head out to dinner.  I heard about a restaurant, Chez Claude, that is a quick drive beyond the beach area that has great food and a trolley ride to the front door.  Sounds interesting.

That is a painful sunburn.

When we get there, we quickly understand why the trolley ride is one of the main attractions.  The trolley is raised up and down the steep incline by a farm tractor.

We must be the first ones there cause no one is manning the trolley.  The place doesn’t even look open.  Eventually, an old man walks out and after a few gestures and pointing we load up in the trolley and the tractor groans to life.  Surprisingly, a smooth ride.

The food is pretty good.  The sunset is beautiful.  But my sunburn is insufferable.  Time to head back to the hotel, bathe in aloe vera and spend the rest of the night regretting not putting on sunscreen.

Sunny side uply yours,

Higgins

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